Just Ask Y: Thank you for being critical.

by Chelsea Castner
Published April 18, 2013 in New Ideas, Work

The other day I started writing a blog about the importance of accepting a compliment, something women find difficult. Well that day praise didn’t come my way, instead I got a dose of criticism. I recognized the irony of my situation right away. It was an important lesson that taught me that it’s crucial for us to learn how to accept criticism before we really can be open to accepting praise. It’s not until we do the work of growing from a critique that we can feel we have earned the right to receive the compliment.

First, I have to share how I personally differentiate between insults and criticism, because it’s how I decide how to react to them. An insult never produces anything good. It comes from a source of anger, dislike or, most often, jealousy. The intention is to tear you down and if you choose to accept it, it will be painful. Criticism, however, comes from a constructive place of compassion and is meant to make you stronger and produce positive growth.

These are the steps I take when I get a critique wrapped up in a bow with my name on it.

1. Recognize who’s dishing it.

This is critical. You must know that the person giving it cares for you and that their intentions are to help you grow. Often the person dishing it is nervous, which comes from the fear of how you’re going to react to what they are about to share. They love you and don’t want to hurt you. Sometimes their words can come out angrily but then they soften, and immediately you feel their compassion; you’ve probably experienced this with a parent, teacher or employer.

2. Sit back and soak it in.

When the words start coming at you, take them in and acknowledge the feelings that start coming up. If you really listen to your feelings then you will know if there is truth in the criticism. Personally, my critique hit me hard, and as I listened embarrassment and sadness washed over me. That’s how I knew this was something I had done that I wasn’t proud of. It was necessary for me to hear this to help me make a positive change.

3. Say “thank you.”

Why? Because it takes a very special person in your life to tell you something that is difficult for them to say, in order to help you be better. In other words, a criticism is a gift as long as you choose to receive it. Without the gift you would be stuck in the same place and mindset, embarrassing yourself around others who don’t yet love you enough to help you make the change.

4. Show up and get to work.

First you heard it and then you felt it, so now it’s time to put it in action. And when you do magic happens, I promise. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to pretend you’re Harry Potter and throw out a powerful “Expecto Patronum” spell. But seriously……

Tags: For Women, Gen Y, generation y, Marketing to Women, marketing with women in mind, Mary Lou Quinlan, Positive thoughts, Positivity, Psychology, Self-help, Whole Truths, Working Mother

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Making a big leap after 40?

by Mary Lou Quinlan
Published March 27, 2013 in Work

Got a career dream waiting in your pocket? Most of us do. In 1998, I took a big step to achieve mine and Just Ask a Woman was the result. And the dreams keep growing. Hope you enjoy this piece published today on LearnVest, the fantastic financial support site for young women. Read it HERE!

Tags: Advertising, Careers, For Women, Half Truth, marketing with women in mind, Mary Lou Quinlan, Psychology, The God Box, The New York Times Best seller, Whole Truths, women

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Rewriting the Rules of How We Work

by Mary Lou Quinlan
Published June 21, 2012 in New Ideas, Work

Over the years, I have been part of many teams, stretching from my first years in a large, global corporation, through my decade in the competitive ad agency world, my years as an entrepreneur. Each experience came with its own approach to management and staffing. But my latest endeavor, The God Box Project, has been my first foray into creative a team the new-fashioned way with a wired and unwired network of global talent, handpicked for their expertise. The piece that I wrote in Forbes.com explains how it all began.

Tags: Forbes, Global team, Marketing, marketing with women in mind, Psychology, social media, Social Networking

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Welcome to Mary Lou Quinlan & Co!

by Mary Lou Quinlan
Published March 29, 2012 in Work

Nearly 13 years ago, I walked out of the corner office of a big ad agency and into the career—make that “careers”—of my dreams. I founded Just Ask a Woman with the goal of becoming the most compelling interpreter of women’s voices in the marketplace. For all those years, I worked with a wonderful team of women to make it happen.

I never think small and maybe I got a bit carried away, but as I’ve often said, it’s your dream, make it big. From the get go, I hoped to build expertise in six different disciplines: consulting and strategy, speaking, TV, online communications, books and magazine writing. I used to call them my six flowerpots. I figured if I watered them with attention, talent and time, eventually they all would grow. Consulting took off like a shot, thanks to the unique assets of Just Ask a Woman, but eventually three books sprouted, along with dozens of magazine articles, blogs, and hundreds of speeches around the country and the world. Just Ask a Woman bloomed but we never lost that start up edge.

Now I’m expanding in new creative ways with the upcoming launch of The God Box Project– my memoir of my mother, but also a one woman, one act play I’ve written and performed, a series of short films, a vibrant online community and soon, an app. Exploring the intimate relationship of mothers and daughters will likely be the most personal and revealing ‘market research’ I will ever do. So, with the God Box—and spring–it seemed the perfect time to present this new outgrowth of what we’ve done.

Introducing Mary Lou Quinlan & Co which brings together the best of content and consulting, reflecting over a decade of listening to women…and to my heart. Over the coming months, you’ll learn about new services, new global partners, and new ventures. But one thing stays the same. It’s all about understanding women and letting their voices be heard. Join us as we give voice to what women really feel, believe and want.

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Mad Women for a Change

by Mary Lou Quinlan
Published March 2, 2012 in Moms & Family, New Ideas, Work

Last night I was invited to a terrific party hosted by Ken Roman, former chairman of Ogilvy. The occasion was the debut of a new book by the wonderful creative director and writer Jane Maas. It’s called “Mad Women” published by St. Martin’s Press. The book takes a fun and honest look at what it was really like for women in ad agencies in the sixties and seventies. Was there really that much sex? Were women relegated to the steno pool, no matter their ambitions and talent? Jane’s book says, yes and even more so than in the Mad Men series. She interviewed me for the book, not because I was one of those women (I was in grade school!) but because my mom worked in ad agencies throughout those decades. For the record, my mom did her share of typing and shorthand but thankfully avoided the seamier side of the inter-departmental relationships that Jane vividly describes.

In her book, Jane retells my story of how I grew up at a dinner table where storyboards and media plans were normal conversation. My mother loved working in advertising, certainly more than cooking dinner. She once worked for an agency where the Campbells soup account came under fire for exaggerating the pile of vegetables in a soup shoot, so she was in charge of counting exactly how many string beans, peas and carrots were in a can and verifying that the bowl was ‘honest’ before the cameras rolled. I love that she loved her work and she inspired me to follow in her footsteps. Not that it was as racy as the TV drama but advertising did bring out the crazy in a lot of people.

Jane is headed out on a 40 city tour, (OMG!) and having done it myself, I wish her a lot of great applause, as many flight upgrades as she can get and a good night’s sleep or three.

Tags: Advertising, m2w, marketing with women in mind, working moms, Working Mother

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Express to sponsor Miss America pageant

by Katherin Seaborn
Published December 20, 2011 in Fashion, New Ideas, Work

Express, Inc., announced sponsor of 2012 Miss America Pageant

In a release issued earlier today, retail apparel chain Express, Inc., has been named the official sponsor of the 2012 Miss America pageant. The news provides interesting insight into how both brands plan to continue marketing to women.

My own impression of the Express brand is positive, but dated; when I think of Express, I think of the silky geometric blouse I purchased there in 1992. It was black, teal, and hot mauve, and I loved it. That’s the last thing I purchased there. If I were to hear they were retooling their brand, perhaps with help from Victoria Beckham or Lady Gaga, I’d happily give them another shot, if only to see what the heck that would look like.

The Miss America pageant, however, is not one of the partnerships that’s drawing me back in. I know pageants have a fervent following, but shows like Toddlers and Tiaras have thrown a spotlight on their more objectionable aspects in a “so-awful-I-can’t-look-away” manner. Is that how Express wants to reach the 20 to 30 year old customer it targets?

The deal makes more sense to me from Miss America’s perspective; they want to focus on scholarship and service, and Express does come with a certain “Working Girl” vibe. However, as I said before, “black, teal, and hot mauve.” If Miss America is looking to modernize their image, is this the right way to go?

What do you think? Will Express’s sponsorship of the Miss America pageant reach women?

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Tracy tells NYWICI how to reach the female audience

by Chelsea Castner
Published December 14, 2011 in Media, Work

Marketers (and men) find themselves constantly asking “what do women want?” A question that is impossible to give a simple answer to, as women as a whole never all want the same thing. “All mom’s are not the same, all women are not the same,” Tracy said. This makes advertising to women today difficult and challenging.

On December 6th, last Tuesday, Tracy Chapman was a panelist for New York Women in Communications, Inc (NYWICI) event, “What Women Want: Strategies for Reaching the Female Market.” The panel of marketing experts was moderated by Lesley Jane Seymour, the Editor-In-Chief of More Magazine, who aimed to uncover what the best approach in understanding the thoughts, motives and triggers of a targeted female audience.

Tracy Chapman on advertising to women

Tracy explained that as a marketer or advertiser it is easy to get caught up in the half-truths that women tell, but it in order to succeed in reaching the target female audience the whole-truth must be uncovered. “Women have and project the best intentions;” however, often times what women say and do are very different. If the whole truth behind these intentions are uncovered, it is much easier to reach the intended female audience.

Tracy provided the attendees with insightful information that helped to make the event a great success!

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My View On The View

by Chelsea Castner
Published June 17, 2011 in Media, Work

Often women will hold back from telling their whole truth opinions in fear of losing approval from their co-workers, or in an effort to protect their own ego. In a work environment differing opinions and thoughts are often the driving force behind those “ah-ha” moments that in turn lead to some of the most innovative ideas. So, I have to wonder what will it take for women to voice their differing opinions in the workplace?

I was lucky enough to be a part of The View’s audience for their live show yesterday. There is something so refreshing about the female hosts’ honesty that draws me into their morning show, especially when there are controversial hot topics to discuss. The hotter the topics, the hotter the tension.

Yesterday the women discussed the on-going Weiner-gate scandal and the rumors, which later that day became fact, surrounding his decision to resign from his position as NY Congressman. The women disagreed and Barbara even became very vocal with her opinion on the matter; however, once everyone stated their opinions they moved on, laughing a minute later regarding their past experiences with shoplifting. There is something inspirational (maybe even empowering) watching these five strong women disagree and the tension rise, only for them laugh and move on moments later.

As women, I know we have all been in the situation when we disagree with even our closest friends, but shy away from stating our opinions in fear of losing their approval or hurting our self image. If Elizabeth Hasselbeck can disagree with Barbara Walters, then why can’t I get the courage to tell my friend that I cringe every time she says Jessica Beil is the epitome of beauty?

Tags: Half Truth, Whole Truths, Workplace

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Pay It Forward

by Mary Lou Quinlan
Published August 19, 2010 in Work

If you’re starting your career this fall or maybe you’re already 10 years into it, who are you meeting now who will remember you later? The assistant to the brand manager? The security guy at the reception desk? The junior media planner? Too busy for more than a quick nod on your way into your ‘important meeting’? Think again.

I didn’t start my career planning to chum for every possible ally along the way. I just took my own personality to work, something I learned at the kitchen table from my gregarious mother, who worked as a secretary at various Philadelphia ad agencies in the Mad Men days. She always told me how some people treated her graciously while others gave her the ‘where’s the boss?’ once over.

So, by osmosis or genes, I picked up her style along with my briefcase and always tried to see behind the eyes of those who let me in. It wasn’t hard; it was fun and I met so many fabulous people on the way.

Years later, the karma bounces back. This week I called the office of the chairman of one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world, hoping to get a foot in the door with a high-powered stranger. Even after three decades of success, I felt like a newbie again, fearing the kiss-off of “We’ll get back to you.” But when a woman named Kathy answered the phone and I started to explain that I’d sent my book, she stopped me in the warmest voice, “I remember you from when you worked for one of our agencies.” That was in the early 90s. Yet after thousands of wannabe-important’s passed by her desk, she’d remembered.

Many times I run into people I met briefly in some long ago client office. And whether it’s in an airport or in some corporate elevator, I’m always delighted to hear, “Hi, Mary Lou! Remember me?” Several years ago, I visited Avon’s NY headquarters, my 80s career “alma mater” and at least a half dozen assistants-turned-managers reached out, “You’re back!” It amazes me to know that in a no-human-contact e-mail, texting world, there are still hugs to be had.

It’s a small world in marketing and advertising. Yesterday’s junior is today’s CMO. More important, yesterday’s acquaintance can be today’s friend. I know we’re in a hurry to win. But if you pause long enough to listen, to meet, to thank… you won’t be alone when you get there.

Tags: Avon, Careers, Pay it Forward, Television

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Jen Tells Working Mother The Importance Of Being Social Media Savvy

by Tracy Chapman
Published February 10, 2010 in Work

Jen tells readers of Working Mother like it or not, it is time to get social media savvy… By not engaging personally or professionally you risk looking out of date, stodgy or stubborn – all dangerous things to be in the shark tank of today’s job marketplace. Read the full article at: workingmother.com

Tags: Social Networking

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