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Got a career dream waiting in your pocket? Most of us do. In 1998, I took a big step to achieve mine and Just Ask a Woman was the result. And the dreams keep growing. Hope you enjoy this piece published today on LearnVest, the fantastic financial support site for young women. Read it HERE!
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On TODAY today, Andrea Canning hosted a segment about why women talk more than men, see it here. New research indicates that women may actually over-index on a brain protein linked to language, called FOXP2.
Of course, the piece concluded with lots of irate husbands on the street complaining that their wives never shut up and in-studio banter about who talks more and ‘Chatty Cathy’ defense. After listening to thousands of women–especially my besties–talk over the years, I know they talk more than most men. (I sure do!)
I have used the ‘women talk 20,000 words to men’s 7,000 words’ stat but never knew about the protein rationale. Here are my five unscientific reasons why women talk more:
1. They notice more and therefore, have more content to share. And they want you to know it.
2. As a gender that feels unlistened to, they figure, if I just talk more, something has to get through!
3. They like to tell stories and provide context rather than just ‘get to the point’ as they are so often (annoyingly) told to do.
4. Talking is therapy and connection. By talking, I am soothing, sharing, being alive with you. Silence is often a signal that something is wrong. Unless it’s during savasana, which means, ahh.
5. If they are like me, talking is a way to fill in the sentences that others leave unfinished. Because others don’t talk fast enough. And we know what they are going to say anyway!
The good news for marketers is that women are the talking gender AND the buying gender. Silent types can’t help you figure out your marketing problems. Talkers can. A person of few words, like “Me, too!” isn’t a great help to you. A talker is, and your best talkers are….women.
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Marketplace Radio interviewed me this morning to get the women’s perspective on Under Armour, as they opened a test store in Baltimore today to help draw a larger female crowd. I weighed in on why bringing bright colors and joy to their clothing and stores is key when building a devoted female consumer base, like their competitor Lululemon.
We all know that staying committed to getting fit is tough. It takes a lot of hard work, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it. Actually, you need to have fun with it. If getting healthy isn’t fun and rewarding, then you’ll never stick with it. Fitness apparel sets your mood and can change your mind set before you even enter a gym or start pounding the pavement. Spandex that hugs in your trouble zones and bright tank tops that make you feel sexy play a bigger role in your workout success then you may even realize. When you look good, you do good.
Click here to listen to the Marketplace interview, it’s only a minute long.
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Foundation used to be just liquid, cream or powder. Now it’s primer, tinted moisturizer, BB Crème, mineral makeup, refiner, mattifier, bronzer. When will the makeup madness end?!
It’s no wonder our makeup bags can’t zip and our bathroom drawers are jammed with tubes and sticks. Women are constantly struggling to find a product that works for their skin color and type, always hoping the newest formula will solve their problems. It’s no wonder women spend over $7 billion a year on cosmetics!
Gen Y’s relationship to foundation generally falls into 3 categories:
I happen to be in the last category. I am shameless sample addict. I even tear out the makeup samples in magazines.
Yesterday I attended “Goddess on The Go”, an all day workshop to inspire women to reconnect to themselves. We all really stink at managing our busy lives, and typically the first thing to fall off our to-do list is “take care of me.” The day was packed with inspiring women speaking about on the importance of body, nutrition, spirituality and finances, all mixed together with sexy fun.
Iman Cosmetics was one of the event sponsors and had a table of product samples. Despite my love for a good makeup sample, I didn’t immediately approach the table. I let my narrow-minded thought—”Oh I don’t know if they would have a shade for me,” keep me at bay. At the end of the day I was given a second chance to prove myself wrong and approach the table. Although I was doubtful there was a shade to match my winter white complexion, Melanie, the representative, handed me two samples of their BB Crème in Sand Light (I can’t think of a paler color description than that!) and I was on my way.
I took the first opportunity I could to test the sample. So, this morning instead of choosing my other BB Crème or two different tinted moisturizers, I gave Iman a shot. I couldn’t be happier with the results. My skin looks even and covered (the winter redness is diminished), my face feels moisturized and brightened, and I don’t have that heavy, sticky feeling.
I’ve worked with and for large mass consumer makeup companies, and know a lot of women feel ignored by color cosmetics that don’t address their unique beauty. Iman Cosmetics created a collection that aims to fit all woman, every color and skincare need. They aren’t solving just one demographic’s problem. Skin diversity ranges from light to dark, oily to dry, sensitive to ….well, I think we all claim our skin is sensitive. Iman Cosmetics isn’t just concealing a problem. It’s solving an issue at its core— providing a line where every woman can find a product that lets her unique self shine.
If you haven’t found a product that fits you, keep searching. There are enough makeup brands out there so you don’t have to settle for good, because when it comes to makeup, good isn’t good enough. A great foundation gets you one step closer to unleashing your (natural!) inner goddess!
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How come it’s so hard to meet a normal guy in this city?
If we have a mutual friend on Facebook then I can message him, right?
If he doesn’t text me before 11 PM then I’m deleting his number from my phonebook.
I see on Instagram he’s at Bounce, maybe I should just show up? (…What? Omg, this is such a coincidence!?!)
Okay I know how that sounds: single, young women are crazy! But give me a moment to defend Gen Y women and why they think this way; and if you’re a Gen Y woman, I’ll be giving you some of my own advice.
The dating world today is more confusing than for any generation before. Friends are no longer going to the ice cream parlor to flirt by the jukebox while sipping on a root beer float (there goes meeting the next Danny Zucco). And when was the last time anyone was invited to a party at a friend’s fabulous Soho loft with single artists and musicians (thank Carrie Bradshaw for creating that impossible perception of NYC dating life)?
Yesterday, The New York Times style section had a great article titled The End of Courtship. Although, I don’t believe that courtship has vanished. It just resurrected itself in a new form, adapted to the changing times. A man coming to the door with a bouquet of flowers before dining with you at his favorite restaurant is probably not a reality for many Gen Y women. However, “have a good day” from the guy in line behind you at Starbucks can be!
Here’s my two cents for Gen Y women stuck in dating crazytown (I’m slowly relocating myself from here as well). Women need to stop beating themselves up over what their dating life looks like, or rather doesn’t look like. Comparing your present situation to movies, friends or what you’ve heard from previous generations, only keeps you stuck in the place of “why not me?” When women start this mental pity party, the floodgates open to crazy, irrational thoughts: “He probably didn’t ask for my number because…. I was having a fat day/I don’t know the difference between an inning and a quarter/my hair wasn’t straightened.”
If women shift their expectations on how they will meet a man they can open themselves up to more opportunities. Even a smile on the subway is a great start; a woman would feel pretty darn great about herself walking into work at 9AM already having a modern day courtship experience.
By no means should women lower expectations in the qualities a man should possess (I have polite, respectful and genuine chiseled in stone on my manly must-have list). What needs to change is the pressure women put on themselves to be approached in situations that rarely exist.
So ladies, take a moment and tell yourself: my thoughts are not crazy, they are just confused and out of date. What is crazy is acting on those confused thoughts. So please refrain from intense social media stalking and tipsy text messaging!
There is a ton more I want to share about dating as a Gen Y woman. Mostly from my own personal experience as a single lady, but I’m also hitting the streets and networking online to hear from other women who are looking for “love in a hopeless place.” So blast some tunes from our girl Rihanna and vow to stop thinking you’re crazy.
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Hi, I’m Chelsea Castner! As a brand planner, I came to Just Ask A Woman full of passion to help companies better understand and listen to women. And I mean really listening, by getting past Half Truths and automatic responses of “Oh, I’m fine.” The most successful products and services are those built on women’s Whole Truths. But my insights and ideas come with the Gen Y point of view.
I have always been one to ask my peers why, why, why, because a question needs more than an answer. It deserves a story. Today’s young women have a lot of stories to tell, so with Just Ask Y I plan to help their voices be heard loud and clear.
Generation Y is full of powerful women who are paving the way into the future with exciting careers, energetic lifestyles and virtual relationships. Gen Y women have a huge appetite to know the answers to all their why’s. This generation is proving to the world that if you want it, you CAN have your all.
As you know, trends are constantly changing and “you’re either in or you’re out” (hopefully you read that in your best Heidi Klum voice). Gen Y women are changing the world we live in, and Just Ask Y is right on board with their forward thinking perspective. Why are they watching so many shows with dancing and singing? Why are they drinking that green pulpy goo they call juice? Why are they taking a pole dancing class at the gym? You want to know why, so Just Ask Y. Are you ready to hear the truth? ….Well, ready or not I’m going to give it to you straight up, shaken and heck maybe I’ll even give it a little stir!
I’ll be sharing new research that impacts Gen Y, interviews with leading edge Y folks that are emerging into the spotlight and I’ll even report on my own personal experiences as I go out and tackle some of the latest trends (hope you’re ready to get to know me real well). And when I have something really juicy to share with you, I’ll upload a video blog so you can see and hear my excitement. This will be content that will help you be more connected to young women in your market and life, (maybe even the one who’s sitting in the cubicle next to you right now.) Even if your takeaway is great party convo, that’s cool too.
Post your questions and comments below. I’ll be sure to give to give you honest answers to all your why’s. Stay tuned, there’s lots of great content to come…
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Often women will hold back from telling their whole truth opinions in fear of losing approval from their co-workers, or in an effort to protect their own ego. In a work environment differing opinions and thoughts are often the driving force behind those “ah-ha” moments that in turn lead to some of the most innovative ideas. So, I have to wonder what will it take for women to voice their differing opinions in the workplace?
I was lucky enough to be a part of The View’s audience for their live show yesterday. There is something so refreshing about the female hosts’ honesty that draws me into their morning show, especially when there are controversial hot topics to discuss. The hotter the topics, the hotter the tension.
Yesterday the women discussed the on-going Weiner-gate scandal and the rumors, which later that day became fact, surrounding his decision to resign from his position as NY Congressman. The women disagreed and Barbara even became very vocal with her opinion on the matter; however, once everyone stated their opinions they moved on, laughing a minute later regarding their past experiences with shoplifting. There is something inspirational (maybe even empowering) watching these five strong women disagree and the tension rise, only for them laugh and move on moments later.
As women, I know we have all been in the situation when we disagree with even our closest friends, but shy away from stating our opinions in fear of losing their approval or hurting our self image. If Elizabeth Hasselbeck can disagree with Barbara Walters, then why can’t I get the courage to tell my friend that I cringe every time she says Jessica Beil is the epitome of beauty?
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Yoplait, who created an ad where a woman negotiates with herself to be “allowed” a slice of cheesecake (“I could have a medium slice and some celery sticks and they would cancel each other out, right?”), has pulled the ad in response to complaints from the National Eating Disorders Association, which declared that the woman’s internal monologue wasn’t funny or realistic—in fact, it was the depiction of mental conflict that could trigger a person suffering from an eating disorder.
Kudos to Yoplait, of course, for responding appropriately to the situation. Illness aside, here’s a question for you: When the woman in the ad regards the treat and negotiates with herself, what is her actual intention when it comes to her own actions? Let’s break it down:
Half Truth: To justify eating the cheesecake, I’ll limit the rest of my day to celery sticks.
Whole Truth: I’ll consider the celery, but I’ll actually just eat the cheesecake and go on as per usual.
To be honest, we identified with that ad when it showed up in our browser. What unrealistically well-adjusted woman doesn’t second-guess a high-calorie indulgence in the middle of her workday? By nature, Yoplait’s position as a substitute treat and healthy lifestyle aid puts it square at the intersection of health and mental health. And that’s a hard place to be.
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Half Truth: Women divulge details of their lives via ubiquitous social media outlets and opportunities to share.
Whole Truth: Women divulge only the details that that portray them in a chosen light.
Do women really keep secrets anymore? In this culture of confession, with Oprah as high priestess, why would anyone keep a secret when telling them is so easy? In a real-time, digital, Twitter world, where every private thought can be broadcast in a split second, are today’s women just more calculating about what they reveal and what they conceal? How many women post their most flattering (if out of date) pictures on Facebook? Ever read someone’s supposedly accurate profile on Match.com?
The Whole Truth is that women share those secrets, online and off, that portray them the way they like to be perceived and support the personalities they aspire to. Conversely, they safeguard the secrets that damage that image.
Secrets don’t have to be damaging. They can be ‘little white secrets.’ Ask a beauty marketer how many women play down their sins of self-inflicted sun damage while bragging that they wear SPFs all the time. Ask a pharmaceutical marketer how many female consumers promise compliance, yet double down on dosage based on their own doctoring. Ask a furniture marketer how many women claim to have modern, simple taste, yet actually fill their houses with overstuffed furniture and knickknack collections?
You say you don’t keep secrets? Is there a small blip on your resume that seems to have been deleted? Was there an event in your life you’ve never confessed to your spouse? Ever eat a cookie in the bathroom? Keeping secrets is something we learn to do when we are as young as three or four years old. Holding some things inside is part of human nature.
So if you think women don’t keep secrets from you, you’re in for an awakening. We’ve certainly exposed more than our share of them.
Want to learn more about half and whole truths? This post is straight from our book, What She’s Not Telling You: Why Women Hide the Whole Truth and What Marketers Can Do About It. Read the first chapter online HERE, and grab a copy for yourself from Amazon.
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Half Truth: Women are demanding customers.
Whole Truth: Women don’t like retailers who take advantage of their perceived reticence.
Women, who may be mild or diplomatic under most circumstances, will whip out their evil twin when it’s time to duel with errant sales and service people. When we’ve asked women to describe their identities as shoppers, they are proud to claim their power. As one woman told us, ‘I’m a ‘you’ve got one chance to screw up’ shopper.’
Another woman we interviewed demonstrated her revenge technique on a salesman who made her feel he was too busy to take her call. In what was clearly an oft-repeated performance, she mimicked her best imperious voice, as she raved at the hapless receptionist, ‘You tell your boss, this is an escalated phone call, use that word and tell him I want service right now!’ As the other women in the group applauded, I could see her relax into the knowledge that this story only got better with the telling, securing her place as queen of customer
Marketers of services faced with an irate customer like this can figure out whether her anger is real or manufactured by starting with the magic words, ‘You’re right. Now, how can I make this better for you?’ Play to her ego; all she’s really wanting is the respect she deserves and to not be seen as the cowering, customer chump.
Want to learn more about half and whole truths? This post is straight from our book, What She’s Not Telling You: Why Women Hide the Whole Truth and What Marketers Can Do About It. Read the first chapter online HERE, and grab a copy for yourself from Amazon.
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May 24, 2013
by Chelsea Castner
When I talk about my heart, I picture it as a big child-drawn outline, colored in red with a front door on it. Why a door? I need a...
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The most powerful female relationship begins as mother and daughter. With the God Box project - a book, play, series of short films, website, iPhone app, a virtual community – Mary Lou shares lessons of life and love from her own mom.
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